Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Road trippin' Doujicon- pt 1 (Who will play Johnny Depp?)

Getting Suresot Presents ORDinary Eyeball was an adventure in itself, but after 4 trips to the printer it finally got done.
I had been sick the weekend before and was recovering from having too much at the Sydney conference so i was kind of worried about the trip away. Would it suck, would the 5 Adelaidians kill each other by the end of the weekend, would they laugh at my musical selections?
I packed in between commercial breaks of 24 and discovered i only had daggy underwear and none of my cool jocks; this would affect my confidence for the weekend - since i'd be out of my comfort zone (ie my house) and out of comfortable briefs. So I decided to free bag it, and give the weekend a mischievous edge (ie by lying about my underwear).

A slightly restless sleep followed finally putting everything in my trusty backpack.

We had arranged to leave from Jing's (Sarah's) place at 10 but this was changed to a 8am depature time because Dan had organised to meet friends at 6 for $5 jugs of coopers sparkling ale. It was a wise decision who needs 2 hours sleep when good cheap beer is available, especially after having to drive for 8 hours.

Jing lives around the corner, this i know, exactly where i didn't. I was running late, i tried running to make up time but then had to stop after 10 metres to catch my breath.

Well, after 20 minutes and about as many metres and half as many phone calls i found the place.

I expected a packed camry and tapping feet but i discovered Sarah making a grape sandwich, a hovering dan, an anxious Owen and a chilled out Benzin.
Dan and Sarah were arguing about why they were late
"Who's fault is it that I'm making sandwhichs now?"
"Who's fault is it that you slept in?"
"Who's fault is it that i stayed up late doing laundry?"
"Who's fault is it that you left to do your laundry at the last minute?"
"Who's fault is it that i had to go pick you up after work?"
I was afraid that there were going to keep backtracking until they started blaming their parent's for the timing of their conception,
"Who's fault is it that your parents had sex on a friday?"
so i made a distracting action of "hey lets load the car!"

It should be noted that they are not really a couple.

We car packed. Then we left at 8:30. I was worried that my musical taste would be mocked by the cool kids. I had long given up any prentension about music, i listen to what i like so yes i think Justin Timberlake's Justified is a great funky album, yes i know the lyrics of "My humps" and i downloaded the Shakira album based on the 'hips' song (wyclef jean is brilliant). Well dan started the music with a spanish version of 'hotel california' and followed it up with 'ballroom blitz', then there was a whole bunch of anime/jpop songs.

I discovered that i only understood about 40% of what benzin, dan and sarah talked about since 60% of the conversation was based on Naruto, mighty boosh and a third subject i still have no idea about. Me and Owen would just go glassy-eyed and nod. It’s a pretty decent drive – we’d stop periodically for toilet breaks and food. We should have timed the stops better because when we had to use the toilet, the attendant wouldn’t let us have the key unless we bought something.

Things discovered: I do not approve of mint m&ms, that I had been misprouncing Benzin’s name as Benzine for the past 2 weeks and no one had told me and that a musical based on ‘Nightmare on Elm street’ would be awesome.

“Once there was this pee-doh,

Who molested children on their way to school

And when they finally caught him



him into a bright fire”
(sung to the mmm song)

We also had to stop in Murray Bridge so Owen could hand in his dole form. I found this weird. It was also the first time I saw Dan’s ass as he press-hammed the car window. This was quite funny because he’s a short man and had to jump so his ass reached the window.

We drove. Talked shit. Vroom vroom blah blah. I played Tom Waits’ Rain Dogs, Sarah knew all the words. My heart fluttered.

About an hour after crossing the border we were pulled over by a highway cop and I had to hand over my license

“What’s your FULL name and address?”

Sigh – “Mark” slight pause followed by a mumbled “Leopold Selan”. Instantaneously this was meet by a chorus of “Leopold!” from the back seat.

Luckily this allowed me to remember what address was on the license since I’ve moved a couple of times and never bothered changing my address.

After I gave the address, he asked

“Any reason why you had to go 112 back there?”
“Wha? You mean when I was overtaking that ford back there?”

“Hmmm, yep – wait here”

He ambled off, and 2 milliseconds after he was out of earshot Benzin let out a cascade of obscenities. He would do this every now and again, and was kind of funny because he was really laid back 99% of the time but that 1% when he got angry was really intense.

Anyway, we got let off with a warning and entered Melbourne at 6:30. Which was too late for cheap beer.


The Frase said...

I'm confused.....

...were you or were you not wearing underwear?

Mark Selan said...


LFW said...



you are offically my hero now

The Frase said...

hehehehheheheh..... gross.