The Grates at the Jive bar.

Its hard for me to say I love the Grates, a relatively new band from Brisbane. They’ve only released a 4 track EP and its all a bit brief. I think one of their songs appeared on a Jeans West ad, if not I wouldn’t be surprised if their stuff isn’t coopted in commercials sooner or later because it has that indy cool style/cred while still being approachable for a wider audience. I do know that the lead singer Patience will be my third wife (when Emma and then Cameron Diaz leave me).

It was a Thursday night, so I had just finished grocery shopping at the local Westfield. Gone are the days of getting illicit before a show.

The only interesting thing about getting to the gig was as I walked past Cargo (a club that has been around as long as I remember, at least 15 years which probably makes it the longest existing club in Adelaide – usually most places have a 2 year shelf life) and a guy of middle eastern appearance suggested I smile because things aren’t that bad. Guy of middle eastern appearance was right.

In the club I got pinted and settled in for the show, I scanned for a familiar face and when I spotted one I had to figure out if I actually knew them or just caught the train with them. By the time I tried to figure that out The Grates came on. And launched right into it. Usually because I’m a bit on the taller side, I like to hang back in the crowd so I don’t block people’s view with my large rottweiler head. Only downside, is that people who stand back rarely dance – where as I do. So I was bopping along – in a restrained manner when I got a tap on the shoulder. It was a girl of non middle east appearance “You look like you wanna dance you're welcome to join us!”. Us was two girls dancing around their handbags. Dancing with them would involve not being able to watch the show and having to put my beer down so I declined for the interim. “Cheers for that, I will in a bit though”.

The show continued on, it was really energetic and the crowd got into it, which is pretty rare for Adelaide. But all the regular dickheads were there;

• The cunt who when hears the one song he knows from the band (usually the hit song/song played on the radio) and races from the back and slams through the crowd to get to the front, leaving in his wake spilt drinks and teetering girls. One particular curly haired muppet of non middle eastern appearance did it twice and was close to being lynched.
• The cunt that enjoys the gig so much he dances but has no sense of personal body space or even less of a sense of balance. He’s the lonely mosher who crashes into the people around him. At this particular gig this was sort of me - except i brushed against people rather than crashed.
• The cunt who has to talk on their phone right next to you.

After a couple more songs dancing girl requested the dance so I downed the remaining pale ale and started to dance proper like. I was started my Breakfast Club impersonation and did a really good job of it as well. I think I shouted something pretty innocuous “They’re pretty good” or “good turn out” or “check me out I am lord of the dance”. I can’t remember what I said but then dancing girl turned around and tried to convince black clad emo kid to get off the couch and dance, leaving me doing the Molly Ringwald shuffle ….alone. On relating this to Emma later her reply was “How many slices of garlic bread did you have with your Italian pizza with extra garlic before you went?”
Fuck.
The music came on unrelenting and the lead singer bounced and bounded around – it was quite astounding. I’m sure more of the sexist one track minded fellows in the crowd thought “fark I bet she’d be a powder keg in the sack”, I thought “Good show! What an energetic lass, such stamina and endurance why I suspect and surmise she maintains some sort of exercise regime”.
And then it was done. After cajoling (“sigh”) they did a 3 song encore. I hate encores especially ones which are part of the set and only need three members from the audience to clap a bit longer to 'drag' the band back from the wings.

After it was done I left with a happy buzz which is all I can ask for.
Oh and I love the Grates.