Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Stupid people review good movies - Part ii

Stolen from Amazon

The Getaway
by a 12 year old viewer

I waited over a year to see this film, it wasn't worth it. I wasn't aloud to see it because it was supposedly too violent. When I did see it I was really disppointed. There was very little violence at all, and what there was went too fast. In the final shootout at the end (which I thought would be a huge, explosive borderline massacre by the police) was a poorly choreographed hotel gunfight. Steve McQueen could have done better. Peace out.
The Unabomber used to sign his letters 'Peace Out' - then they exploded. Ironic, isn't it?

Lawerence of Arabia reviewed by Leonard Sneredley
bought this DVD as a way to show off my new DVD player to my family. I had seen the movie several times in the theater, and knew its bright colors would be beautiful on my TV screen. To my horror, I saw that Columbia had seen fit to alter a masterpiece. Yes, the film came complete with those horrific black bars at the top and bottom of my screen, which obscured about half of the picture. I've seen those bars on the "artsy" videos on TV, and I sometimes enjoy them. But this is a classic work of art! You don't try to make it "hip" and "relevant" with modern touches. It would be like adding a moustache to the Mona Lisa.

Until Columbia drops the act and releases "Lawrence of Arabia" without those bars, letting us see all of the picture, stay away.
Dear Mr Toyota, I purchased one of your cars and have noticed that the speedometer goes to 240km/h. The speed limit is only 110km/h, i demand a refund on the unused portion of speed. Stop being wasteful. Yours sincerly Leonard.

Something about Mary - by gerhardt
Nothing funny or sexy that is. This movie had one funny scene and that was when the cop bounced Stillers head off that table. That's it, nothing before or after. It was way over hyped and so is Diaz. She is not the Goddess everyone seems to think she is,there are alot more prettier actresses out there than her,Julia Roberts for one. And Roberts can act too. If you want a movie watch this,if you want a Funny movie,see Deuce Bigalow,it's worth the hype.

The Farrley Brothers need to make a european sequel; There's something about Maria featuring more headbutting and redheads. (gerhardt is not completely stupid)

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